Well…I’m pretty sure those of you who’ve read my past fics know exactly what the Authoress’ Realm looks like…if not, backtrack a bit, cuz I’m *not* going over that again. It wastes time, and page space…

Chibi-Chibi: <sitting up in the rafters, looking downward, swinging her feet over the edge> …still pissed, huh?

Me: *grumble, grumble* All that time rooting for them as a couple, laughing at every mishap that came their way…especially My Night at Daria’s…and she STILL breaks up with him in the end? It’s not fair! And meanwhile, UpChuck actually manages to get a date…UpChuck, I tell you! The world’s gone mad!

Chibi-Quatre: <doing the same as Chibi-Chibi> Why don’t you just do the same thing as usual—take it out on the Gundam Boys?

Me: Hey, that’s a good idea!

Chibi-muses: That’s what we’re here for!

*whipcrack*

Wufei: <looks again> Oh, hell…

Me: Close, but not quite. Add in midterms, this awful stomach flu that’s made me involuntary purge everything I’ve eaten for the past four days, A *very* bad case of insomnia—

Heero: Insomnia? That’s not new for FanFiction Authoresses.

Me: It is when it gets so bad, I’m surviving on under 20 hours of sleep a week and ended up missing two full days of school because of just that—and the fact that I’ve started practicing for my learner’s permit, and what do you get?

Duo: Torment and suffering for us?

Me: <*^_^*> Good boy! Now, then…me and my friends have found this neat little tool for AOL Instant Message called Subprofile.net, and one of the features is called “Freak Test”…

Wufei: I can see where this is going already.

Me: Shut it, Justice boy…for your information, I only qualified as 43.9% Freak.

G-boys: …

Me: Anyways, the questions I had to answer were pretty funny, so I thought it might be fun to MST ‘em!

Heero: So says you.

Me: <ignores him, looks upward> All right, you two, you know what to do…and if I hear ONE chord from the theme to Blue’s Clues, I’m sending you off to Moonfairy2000’s for the week.

Chibi-muses: Yes’m.

~~Begin MST~~

>>Do people at school or work call you weird?

Duo: How about both?

Trowa: Um…if you’re able to answer this, shouldn’t that tell you all you need to know?

Quatre: Not necessarily.

>>Do you take it as a compliment and thank them?

Me: Yes. Daily. In fact, thank you for even asking.

>>Have you ever watched a certain series/type of movie all night/for more than 6 hours straight?

Wufei: Depends…does Titanic count?

Duo: Puh-leeze…the Florida Recount took less time than it did for THAT boat to sink.

Heero: …and it took even less time for the movie ratings to follow suit.

>>Have you ever contemplated the sex lives of cartoon characters (ie: the cast of Scooby Doo)?

Heero: <sarcastically> What’s to contemplate? Fred ‘n Daphne are getting’ it on when the camera’s aren’t and Velma’s STILL going after Bravo…without luck, I might add.

Others: …

Heero: what?

Me: <eyeing Heero oddly> Anyways…this is one I *definitely* put down “no” for.

G-boys: <stare at her disbelievingly>

Me: Hey…there’s a BIG difference between sex life and love life. Besides, at least you guys are human.

Duo: <snickering> It give a whole new meaning to the phrase “doing it doggy style”!

Me: I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.

>>Do you own any books/comics/manga in a language you can’t read?

Trowa: That’s a pretty stupid question to ask an anime fan.

>>Do you make it a point to laugh out loud during sad/emotional scenes in movies just to piss off other people in the theatre (ie: When stickboy turns into a Popsicle in Titanic)?

Heero: Assuming you’ve remained conscious that long.

Duo: Are you kidding me? That was the best part of the movie!

>>Do you dye your hair colors not found in nature?

G-boys: <snickering>

Me: <glares> Not…ONE…word…

>>Have you ever worn a cape in public?

Quatre: Not lately.

Duo: <a la Fashion Club from Daria> Are you kidding me? Capes are, like, soooooo 90’s! Even Batman and Superman took the hint at the turn of the millennium.

>>Do you decorate your clothing with non-decorative objects (ie: safety pins, duct tape, etc.)?

>>Do you wear so many bracelets that they are longer than your shirt’s sleeves?

Me: Okay, these last two questions described about half my school.

Duo: …I’m assuming it’s the *female* half?

Me: <sarcastically> No, strangely enough, they’ve invented these great new bracelets for GUYS. It’s all the rage.

>>Do you *never* take your sunglasses off…no matter if you’re inside or if it’s midnight?

Quatre: That might make it pretty hard to see.

Trowa: Especially when driving.

Duo: <shrugs> It’s not that hard.

Wufei: Which is EXACTLY why Yuy and I refused to EVER get in a car with you again, Maxwell.

Duo: <defensively> Hey! That cat survived…and the hospital said that little boy only had to stay overnight….

>>Have you ever spent more than 8 consecutive hours online?

Duo: Only when there’s nothing better to do.

Me: Given the fact that I live on an island, can’t drive…yet…, and my closest friend lives a 20-minute drive away if there’s no traffic…that would pretty much describe my average day.

Heero: Oh? And what, pray tell, do you DO on-line?

Me: If I told you that, I’d probably have to kill you.

>>Can you recite Pi to 20 or more digits?

Trowa: …does Pi even HAVE 20 digits?

Duo: <calmly> 3. 1415926535 8979323846 2643383279—

Others: STOP!

>>Have you ever factored your Social Security number?

Duo: I thought this was a Freak test, not a Geek test.

Heero: Most people don’t even KNOW their own Social Security number.

Trowa: …do I even have one? Damn amnesia.

>>Have you ever ordered diet water at a restaurant?

Me: The fun part is doing that to a new waitress and watching her figure out how to fill THAT order.

Wufei: Humph. There is no justice in proving just how weak woman are by assuming them with a task that we all know they cannot handle.

Me: …do you ever STOP?

>>Have you ever formed your own religion?

Quatre: …you can do that?

Duo: Hehe…I declare myself GOD of the newest religion, DUOISM! Bow down before me, mortals!

Others: <ignoring him>

>>Have you ever had people converted to a religion you formed?

Duo: Hey, Heero…wanna convert to Duoism?

Heero: <DeathGlare>

Duo: Uh…I’ll take that as a maybe?

>>Have you ever invented your own language?

>>Can you speak and write it fluently?

Me: Strangely enough, yes. I call it “GibberJapSpanglishese”

Others: …huh?

Me: A mixture of English, Spanish, Japanese, and Gibberish. Works well in confusing teachers.

>>Have you ever made up a slang word?

Duo: Probably, but it’s usually forgotten within the hour, anyways.

>>Have you ever made up a slang word and heard a stranger use it at a later time?

Quatre: Um…that wouldn’t qualify as “making it up,” now would it?

Trowa: <shaking head> Don’t bother trying to make sense out of this, Quatre…it can only lead to migraines.

>>Do you enjoy learning bizarre phrases/insults in foreign languages?

Me: =^_^=

>>Do you have over 10 nicknames, all of which you will answer to?

Me: <counting on fingers> Jen…Jennie…~J.C.~…Blondie…youngin’…Steak…Weirdo…Jennie-chan…Onna…Trouble…

Wufei: <rolls his eyes> Now I wonder where anyone could’ve come up with THAT name.

Me: Well, it’s not MY fault Mi-chan and I drove her [Freshman year Math Teacher] to banging her head against the wall during class…at least, not *completely* my fault…<goes back to counting nicknames>

>>When getting off elevators, do you press all the buttons to piss off the sucker who gets in after you?

Duo: <snickering>

Wufei: THAT WAS YOU?!?

Quatre: uh-oh…

Me: If I didn’t hate elevators so much, I’d probably try that some time.

>>Have you ever asked passerby for directions to a landmark you were standing in front of?

Wufei: Only the weak ask for directions.

Me: Typical Male.

Quatre: Well, I suppose it’s possible that you couldn’t *see* the landmark, in which you didn’t realize you were already there, but were, and therefore would NEED…aw, forget it.

>>Do you like to give people cards on their birthday that say things like “congratulations—it’s a boy!” and sign “happy thanksgiving” on the bottom?

Trowa: What would make that even more amusing if you gave it to a girl.

Duo: Yeah! And tell them they should be thankful we even remembered on our own!

Heero: Not unless you could run faster than the speed of light

>>Do you like to move “caution: wet floor” signs to carpeted areas?

Me: …and spend the next half hour seeing who the first person to figure *that* one out will be.

>>Do you often fall asleep in class and wake up with weird patterns on your head from whatever you were sleeping on?

Duo: Depends on what class. Maybe if it were Geography…

Wufei: INJUSTICE!

Others: …

Wufei: …I like Geography.

>>Are your hands and arms primarily used as notepaper/calendar/day timer?

Me: Once again, we’re back to describing a typical High School—where paper is scarce, and ANY sense of time is practically non-existent.

>>When on the phone, have you ever asked to be put back on hold because you liked the music?

Duo: <pretends to be dialing a number on a cell phone>

Heero: <a la Operator> Thank you for calling. Please hold and someone will be with you as soon as we feel like it.

<Play that Funky Music starts playing. Duo subtly, and VERY clumsily, starts dancing to the tune until it is cut off>

Heero: <still as Operator> You still here? What do YOU want?

Duo: <to Operator> Hey…who the hell picked that music, anyways?

>>Do you collect something strange (ie: plastic flowers, old paint cans, free internet cds, etc.)?

Trowa: …old, golden crosses with a bullet hole in them?

Duo: …parts from a blown-up Gundam?

Heero: …used .32 guns?

Wufei: …broken swords?

Quatre: …Harem girls?

All: <stare at Quatre>

Quatre: <laughs nervously>

>>Have you ever sat in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down?

Me: <sitting in a lounge chair on the side of a highway, holding up a hair dryer> Hmm…it doesn’t work.

Trowa: Um…shouldn’t that thing be turned ON for it to work?

Me: …I knew that!

>>Do you decorate your walls with signs you’ve stolen from random places (ie: the bus, the elementary school, etc.)?

Heero: …the bus?

>>Do you often refer to “THEM” without specifying exactly what that is supposed to mean?

Me: Who?

Duo: You know… THEM.

Me: Oh, you mean THEM? …not THEM?

Duo: That’s right. THEM.

Wufei: I don’t know who’s worse: Maxwell, or the onna.

>>Have you ever made signs reading “please use other door” and put them on every door to a building?

Duo: Even the bathrooms? That ‘oughta be good for a few laughs.

Trowa: Naw…too messy.

Quatre: eeeewww…

>>Have you ever licked yourself in public to see people’s reactions?

All: …

Me: Moving on…

>>Have you ever claimed to be invisible, picked things up, and said “Whoo, this is floating around by itself!”?

Wufei: Dammit, Maxwell, I told you to STOP SPIKING THE PUNCH!

Duo: <WAY-too-innocently> What makes you think it was me?

>>Do you say “excuse me” when you bump into inanimate objects in public?

Me: Only the wall, and only when it wasn’t on purpose.

G-pilots: <look at her strangely>

Me: …what? If you’re not polite, then it hurts all the more next time. Walls have feelings, too, you know!

>>Have you ever superglued quarters to the floor at the mall, then counted how many people tried to pick them up?

Quatre: And then later realize you just wasted a whole bunch of quarters.

Duo: Not necessarily; a metal spatula should pick those babies up in a jiffy.

Me: <writing in notebook> Again, another one *definately* worth trying!

>>Are you totally unable to ever resist the urge to run up the “down” escalators?

Me: …you mean, there’s an “up”?

Trowa: What was your score on this thing again?

Me: Shaddup.

>>Do you compulsively move sharp objects so the blade/tip is pointing away from you because of some strange fear that they will attack you?

Duo: As a matter of fact, yet…but that could be just because I border with Wufei *and* Heero…

Me: <staring down a metal knife> I’ve got my eye on you…

Quatre: <looking in Encyclopedia> I’m pretty sure there’s a medical term for that…Aichimophobia or Belonephobia or…

Heero: Phronemophobia?

>>At any point while taking this test, did you read a question and think “what a great idea!”?

Me/Duo: Hell, yeah!

Quatre: I think you two are starting to rub off on each other personality-wise.

~~End MST~~

Trowa: Well, that was…interesting…

Duo, on the other hand, had somehow managed to get ahold of a red royalty-cape and plastic, gold crown; he now saw on a VERY unsteady makeshift throne, pretending to be a god.

Duo: I will make you crawl, you mortals…you hear me? Crawl!

Of course, everyone was still ignoring him and his Real World “King of Mardi Gras” impersonation.

Me: <looking in Quatre’s dictionary> Hey, waitasecond! I’m gonna get you for that wisecrack, Heero Yuy! <tosses Encyclopedia on the floor, grabs another on of Gene Starwind’s really awesome guns, and chases the so-called “Perfect Soldier” all around the Realm—the faint sounds of “Temee wo korosu” are heard somewhere in the background>

Wufei: <picks up the Encyclopedia> What does that mean, anyways?

Trowa: What? Phronemophobia?

Wufei: Yeah.

Quatre: <smirking, takes the book back> It means “Fear of Thinking”

The scene fades out to the sounds of crashing, class breaking, and a cat screeching…

Me (V/O): Knock it off!

Chibi-muses: Sorry….

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